Lisa, you've touched on something so true and crucial here--not just to writers, but to all of us who conflate self-worth with accomplishments, which I suspect is the vast majority of us in Western (especially American) culture. It helps me dig through my resentment and queasiness about all the self-promoting work it takes to have a shot at publication and get to the true jewel of why I write--to feel more present, alive, and connected to the world. Publication feels like recognition, which, on the surface, looks like connection to the world. But like you say, it's a fleeting sensation that leaves us ultimately wanting bigger and better. When we're in touch with the aliveness writing gives us, publication feels like a side bonus instead of the only bonus. Thank you for your clarifying post!
Thanks for reading, Katie, and for eloquently examining this in your own life. It's a challenge I've been working on too. Like you, I think it's a very Western/American issue and it's running us into the ground. I still think of how you traded your poem for a necklace. Each one of your poems and essays is a sparkling gem that shines the light on how expansive, and dare I say groovy, we all are! Keep writing from your aliveness, dear Katie! The world needs your work.
Hi Lisa, I started writing at first to structure my thoughts, my aims, my dreams, my to do’s. But I discovered writing could do more for myself. Writing down my thoughts that wandered through my brain. But too trying to write observations, becoming quiet, to communicate, first with myself, later on with others.
The contacts, the reflections, the reactions with and by other writers make me most alive.
Even if nobody would ever read it, I would keep writing the story of my life. My health issues from last years, my childhood issues…
When have I the feeling of doing the holy work? When I can sit quiet, and go deeply into my feelings about certain moments in my life, as I did with some EMDR-sessions with my psychologist.
Thanks for sharing your story with us, Ivan! It truly is a gift to read your words. Here's what touches me most: "The contacts, the reflections, the reactions with and by other writers make me most alive." Engaging in activities that make us feel alive is the most important thing we can do. Keep it up, and keep doing the holy work of healing yourself.
Ouch! Those yellow jacket stings hurt. I hope you recovered quickly. 🤗
“Worthiness is an inside job. You either accept your worthiness as something you’re born with or see it as something that needs to be earned.”---The universe sends messages in various ways, and this was one I needed today! I’ve contemplated a procedure because of the high financial cost and the burdens. This morning, I told a close friend, “I don’t think I am worth the cost.” which led to an insightful discussion. This evening, I read this post and examined the issue from another angle. ☺️ ”That permission was granted at your birth. Give it to yourself now.” ❤️
Writing is how I ground myself and connect with my thoughts and emotions. It pulls me out of my default numbness, making me feel more alive as I discover what I’m thinking and feeling.
Lisa --First of all, I hope your bites have healed and that you are no longer uncomfortable. Now to the question of when I feel like I'm doing the "holy" work of finding and expressing an important truth"––when I'm either creating or revising chapters of my memoir. So many puzzle pieces have fallen into place since I began this project a handful of years ago; for instance, instead of harboring age-old, inherited regret, envy, anger and disappointment, through the process of recalling and recording my version of past life experiences, I've liberated myself from the overwhelming burden of carrying it in my heart for the past 63 years. No longer am I burdened with shame as a familial suicide survivor, or for the reckless decisions and actions I've taken in the decades since. I have both respect and a sliver of awe for my persistence and resilience, first as a child, then a teen, young adult, and a mature one most of all. The urge to heal has always propelled me to engage with life (though I had no awareness of such an instinct), and continues to do so; I know how to relate to the hurting places in others, how to help others find their way to healing.
I love that you write to heal and help others do the same. That is the sacred, holy work of writing and storytelling. I'm so glad you're doing this work, Stephanie! Its ripples will be felt across all aspects of your life.
Thank you, Lisa. I worry sometimes that my limited desire to publish means I'm not a serious writer. However, I started writing because I realized I had stories to tell (of my family, of my life) that no one else knew. I have uncovered many exciting/horrifying truths about myself - that enlivens me!
I'm so glad you're writing your stories, LS. If you sit at your desk and write, you are a serious writer. It's okay to give yourself permission to do the work that enlivens you without mucking it up with the expectations of the publishing business. Keep at it. :)
Thanks again Lisa for hitting the nail on the head and voicing a point. Have been struggling with this most of my life. That “never enough” hole that seems to never be filled. I experienced it in my journalism career, in raising a family, and now in memoir writing. Working hard to rewire those thought patterns to recognize and enjoy my accomplishments and build inner confidence. 🧠❤️
I needed this post today! In the writing life, we all experience peaks and valleys--I've been stuck in the valley for some time now. I think that what's harder than an editor's rejection is sending something you've poured yourself into straight into a void: no response whatsoever. You'd think I'd get better at handling this situation, but not so. Lisa's message reminds me to look to the richer personal rewards of writing.
Thanks for reading and for sharing your thoughts with all of us, Cynthia. Getting ghosted is the worst kind of rejection because you have no idea what it means. The recipient could've been so overloaded they couldn't respond or the work might not be a good fit or--who knows??? But your work is valuable, and I'm so glad you keep coming to the page.
Lisa, you've touched on something so true and crucial here--not just to writers, but to all of us who conflate self-worth with accomplishments, which I suspect is the vast majority of us in Western (especially American) culture. It helps me dig through my resentment and queasiness about all the self-promoting work it takes to have a shot at publication and get to the true jewel of why I write--to feel more present, alive, and connected to the world. Publication feels like recognition, which, on the surface, looks like connection to the world. But like you say, it's a fleeting sensation that leaves us ultimately wanting bigger and better. When we're in touch with the aliveness writing gives us, publication feels like a side bonus instead of the only bonus. Thank you for your clarifying post!
Thanks for reading, Katie, and for eloquently examining this in your own life. It's a challenge I've been working on too. Like you, I think it's a very Western/American issue and it's running us into the ground. I still think of how you traded your poem for a necklace. Each one of your poems and essays is a sparkling gem that shines the light on how expansive, and dare I say groovy, we all are! Keep writing from your aliveness, dear Katie! The world needs your work.
Hi Lisa, I started writing at first to structure my thoughts, my aims, my dreams, my to do’s. But I discovered writing could do more for myself. Writing down my thoughts that wandered through my brain. But too trying to write observations, becoming quiet, to communicate, first with myself, later on with others.
The contacts, the reflections, the reactions with and by other writers make me most alive.
Even if nobody would ever read it, I would keep writing the story of my life. My health issues from last years, my childhood issues…
When have I the feeling of doing the holy work? When I can sit quiet, and go deeply into my feelings about certain moments in my life, as I did with some EMDR-sessions with my psychologist.
Thanks for sharing your story with us, Ivan! It truly is a gift to read your words. Here's what touches me most: "The contacts, the reflections, the reactions with and by other writers make me most alive." Engaging in activities that make us feel alive is the most important thing we can do. Keep it up, and keep doing the holy work of healing yourself.
Ouch! Those yellow jacket stings hurt. I hope you recovered quickly. 🤗
“Worthiness is an inside job. You either accept your worthiness as something you’re born with or see it as something that needs to be earned.”---The universe sends messages in various ways, and this was one I needed today! I’ve contemplated a procedure because of the high financial cost and the burdens. This morning, I told a close friend, “I don’t think I am worth the cost.” which led to an insightful discussion. This evening, I read this post and examined the issue from another angle. ☺️ ”That permission was granted at your birth. Give it to yourself now.” ❤️
Writing is how I ground myself and connect with my thoughts and emotions. It pulls me out of my default numbness, making me feel more alive as I discover what I’m thinking and feeling.
I love it when synchronicities like this happen. You are so very worthy, Meagan! I’m so glad writing plays such a healing role in your life. ❤️
Lisa --First of all, I hope your bites have healed and that you are no longer uncomfortable. Now to the question of when I feel like I'm doing the "holy" work of finding and expressing an important truth"––when I'm either creating or revising chapters of my memoir. So many puzzle pieces have fallen into place since I began this project a handful of years ago; for instance, instead of harboring age-old, inherited regret, envy, anger and disappointment, through the process of recalling and recording my version of past life experiences, I've liberated myself from the overwhelming burden of carrying it in my heart for the past 63 years. No longer am I burdened with shame as a familial suicide survivor, or for the reckless decisions and actions I've taken in the decades since. I have both respect and a sliver of awe for my persistence and resilience, first as a child, then a teen, young adult, and a mature one most of all. The urge to heal has always propelled me to engage with life (though I had no awareness of such an instinct), and continues to do so; I know how to relate to the hurting places in others, how to help others find their way to healing.
I love that you write to heal and help others do the same. That is the sacred, holy work of writing and storytelling. I'm so glad you're doing this work, Stephanie! Its ripples will be felt across all aspects of your life.
Thank you, Lisa. I worry sometimes that my limited desire to publish means I'm not a serious writer. However, I started writing because I realized I had stories to tell (of my family, of my life) that no one else knew. I have uncovered many exciting/horrifying truths about myself - that enlivens me!
I'm so glad you're writing your stories, LS. If you sit at your desk and write, you are a serious writer. It's okay to give yourself permission to do the work that enlivens you without mucking it up with the expectations of the publishing business. Keep at it. :)
So true. All of it.
Thanks for reading, Debby! Which aspect do you struggle with most?
Thanks again Lisa for hitting the nail on the head and voicing a point. Have been struggling with this most of my life. That “never enough” hole that seems to never be filled. I experienced it in my journalism career, in raising a family, and now in memoir writing. Working hard to rewire those thought patterns to recognize and enjoy my accomplishments and build inner confidence. 🧠❤️
Yes! It's all about rewiring that pattern, so that we can live and write more abundantly. I'm doing the work right alongside you.
I needed this post today! In the writing life, we all experience peaks and valleys--I've been stuck in the valley for some time now. I think that what's harder than an editor's rejection is sending something you've poured yourself into straight into a void: no response whatsoever. You'd think I'd get better at handling this situation, but not so. Lisa's message reminds me to look to the richer personal rewards of writing.
Thanks for reading and for sharing your thoughts with all of us, Cynthia. Getting ghosted is the worst kind of rejection because you have no idea what it means. The recipient could've been so overloaded they couldn't respond or the work might not be a good fit or--who knows??? But your work is valuable, and I'm so glad you keep coming to the page.
Welcome to Substack, Lisa! :) <3
Ugh you didn’t have to personally attack me in this piece, Lisa. 😱😂
As I was writing I felt like I was incriminating myself. I've spent years trying to earn my place in our human family. I don't want to do it anymore.