Most writers think a writing voice consists of what happens on the page, but it starts inside you. Here's how to connect and strengthen your connection to it.
If I ever gather the courage to write my "memoir" (there are very few actual memories, thanks to my alexithymia), I at least have the title. There are only words, phrases, that I heard repeatedly over the years as a child. They stay with me forever, affecting my thoughts, behavior and heart.
Ooh! I love that title. If you decide not to write a memoir, I hope you use it for something else. And yeah, those words and phrases we hear. They really do get stamped on our hearts.
I will try your suggestions for writing about the hard things. Meaning-making is essential and something I've done successfully in my professional life (for example, I wrote a scientific paper using a methodology that required this longer marinating process, but the meaning-making was focused on interpreting other people's views/stories). It is very different when it's your own story.
Wow, Katia, I love that you coming from a scientific background. I can't wait to see how that impacts your stories. And yes, making meaning from your own story is exponentially harder. The good part is that it's even more satisfying when you achieve it.
So, Mr Rutenkroger was my mother. Her occasional pep talks (when she dignified to speak to me at all) still ring in my head. Realizing it was her, not me, has been very freeing and given rise to the voice I repressed earlier in life. Others now sometimes comment that they like my writing voice.
I am so sorry to hear that, Mark. What a difficult way to grow up. I'm in awe of the strength you've cultivated and how you've freed yourself of her criticisms. That takes so much work and courage.
Your choir experience sounds eerily similar to the way my band teachers instructed us. Sounds like they need to revamp music education programs or hopefully already have!
Could you please elaborate on what you mean by "your highest self" when you say to speak to them?
I'm so sorry you experienced something similar. The educational experiences of Gen Xers are filled with so many traumas. I certainly hope programs treat their students with more kindness.
Here's what I mean by the highest self: I believe we all have a wise part inside us that knows what we're supposed to be doing. It often shows up as gut feelings, little thoughts that pop into our heads (typically about risks we should take or the right decision that also feels scary and big), and sensations in our bodies. Most of us had a strong connection to this part of ourselves when we were young, but we were conditioned to ignore it through rules we were forced to follow and statements by adults like quit being so sensitive, stop making a big deal of this, and that's a bad or impractical idea you should ignore. Does that help!?
My "voice" emerges when my control mechanisms are "sleeping". In those pre-dawn half-asleep/half-awake mornings between dreams and reality. At those times, chapters write themselves in my head. Beautifully. Sometimes I succeed in transcribing those lines, that voice, onto the page, but more often I fail. If I let it "marinate", it curdles.
It does help if I read aloud the chapter I wrote before I attempt to write the next chapter, to get into the vibe.
Your piece could be extra helpful if it were to include an image showing the locations of solar plexus and chakras you mention. For us neophytes.
I love the way you describe that beautiful, perfectly formed story that speaks to us early in the morning, when our brains are still in that delta brainwave state. Like you, if I capture it at that time, the work is beautiful. Later on, it curdles (OMG, I love this description!).
Thanks for the feedback regarding the locations of the chakras. I just updated the post with graphics that illustrate them. :)
I'm so glad it was helpful, Debbie! It's HARD to return to a writing practice after writing a book. So many writers struggle with it, yet so few talk about it. I'm cheering you on as you regain your writing mojo. Hugs!
If I ever gather the courage to write my "memoir" (there are very few actual memories, thanks to my alexithymia), I at least have the title. There are only words, phrases, that I heard repeatedly over the years as a child. They stay with me forever, affecting my thoughts, behavior and heart.
They are Tattoos On My Soul.
Ooh! I love that title. If you decide not to write a memoir, I hope you use it for something else. And yeah, those words and phrases we hear. They really do get stamped on our hearts.
good gods, Lisa! Did you write this just for me? You may as well have. xx
I'm so glad this spoke to you, Michal! What part felt most important to your writing practice?
That was amazing! You must have devoted some serious time and thought to create such profound depth to your article. Thank you for that, Lisa.
This was my “Holy s**t!” moment:
“What matters most is not what happened to you, but the meaning you derive from it.”
Oh, thank you so much, Sarah! I do think deeply about what I share. Thank you for honoring my effort. What part of this was most helpful to you?
Happy writing and thank you for the words of encouragement. :)
This essay speaks to me on so many levels. Thank you
Thank you so much, Katia! That means so much to me. What's one takeaway you'd like to add to your writing life?
I will try your suggestions for writing about the hard things. Meaning-making is essential and something I've done successfully in my professional life (for example, I wrote a scientific paper using a methodology that required this longer marinating process, but the meaning-making was focused on interpreting other people's views/stories). It is very different when it's your own story.
Wow, Katia, I love that you coming from a scientific background. I can't wait to see how that impacts your stories. And yes, making meaning from your own story is exponentially harder. The good part is that it's even more satisfying when you achieve it.
So, Mr Rutenkroger was my mother. Her occasional pep talks (when she dignified to speak to me at all) still ring in my head. Realizing it was her, not me, has been very freeing and given rise to the voice I repressed earlier in life. Others now sometimes comment that they like my writing voice.
Thanks, Lisa!
I am so sorry to hear that, Mark. What a difficult way to grow up. I'm in awe of the strength you've cultivated and how you've freed yourself of her criticisms. That takes so much work and courage.
Thanks, Lisa. You have had much to do with any growth I've had.
Using my voice to say thank you!
Thank you so much, Sarah!
Your choir experience sounds eerily similar to the way my band teachers instructed us. Sounds like they need to revamp music education programs or hopefully already have!
Could you please elaborate on what you mean by "your highest self" when you say to speak to them?
I'm so sorry you experienced something similar. The educational experiences of Gen Xers are filled with so many traumas. I certainly hope programs treat their students with more kindness.
Here's what I mean by the highest self: I believe we all have a wise part inside us that knows what we're supposed to be doing. It often shows up as gut feelings, little thoughts that pop into our heads (typically about risks we should take or the right decision that also feels scary and big), and sensations in our bodies. Most of us had a strong connection to this part of ourselves when we were young, but we were conditioned to ignore it through rules we were forced to follow and statements by adults like quit being so sensitive, stop making a big deal of this, and that's a bad or impractical idea you should ignore. Does that help!?
Ohhh, yes! That helps a lot. Thanks for the thorough explanation!!!
I'm a Millennial and many educators still needed to learn kindness at that time.
I'm so glad that helped. :)
My "voice" emerges when my control mechanisms are "sleeping". In those pre-dawn half-asleep/half-awake mornings between dreams and reality. At those times, chapters write themselves in my head. Beautifully. Sometimes I succeed in transcribing those lines, that voice, onto the page, but more often I fail. If I let it "marinate", it curdles.
It does help if I read aloud the chapter I wrote before I attempt to write the next chapter, to get into the vibe.
Your piece could be extra helpful if it were to include an image showing the locations of solar plexus and chakras you mention. For us neophytes.
I love the way you describe that beautiful, perfectly formed story that speaks to us early in the morning, when our brains are still in that delta brainwave state. Like you, if I capture it at that time, the work is beautiful. Later on, it curdles (OMG, I love this description!).
Thanks for the feedback regarding the locations of the chakras. I just updated the post with graphics that illustrate them. :)
I’m trying to get back into having a writing practice after writing a book, but feel stymied. This was very helpful, thank you.
I'm so glad it was helpful, Debbie! It's HARD to return to a writing practice after writing a book. So many writers struggle with it, yet so few talk about it. I'm cheering you on as you regain your writing mojo. Hugs!