23 Comments

If I ever gather the courage to write my "memoir" (there are very few actual memories, thanks to my alexithymia), I at least have the title. There are only words, phrases, that I heard repeatedly over the years as a child. They stay with me forever, affecting my thoughts, behavior and heart.

They are Tattoos On My Soul.

Expand full comment

Ooh! I love that title. If you decide not to write a memoir, I hope you use it for something else. And yeah, those words and phrases we hear. They really do get stamped on our hearts.

Expand full comment

good gods, Lisa! Did you write this just for me? You may as well have. xx

Expand full comment

I'm so glad this spoke to you, Michal! What part felt most important to your writing practice?

Expand full comment

That was amazing! You must have devoted some serious time and thought to create such profound depth to your article. Thank you for that, Lisa.

This was my “Holy s**t!” moment:

“What matters most is not what happened to you, but the meaning you derive from it.”

Expand full comment

Oh, thank you so much, Sarah! I do think deeply about what I share. Thank you for honoring my effort. What part of this was most helpful to you?

Happy writing and thank you for the words of encouragement. :)

Expand full comment

This essay speaks to me on so many levels. Thank you

Expand full comment

Thank you so much, Katia! That means so much to me. What's one takeaway you'd like to add to your writing life?

Expand full comment

I will try your suggestions for writing about the hard things. Meaning-making is essential and something I've done successfully in my professional life (for example, I wrote a scientific paper using a methodology that required this longer marinating process, but the meaning-making was focused on interpreting other people's views/stories). It is very different when it's your own story.

Expand full comment

Wow, Katia, I love that you coming from a scientific background. I can't wait to see how that impacts your stories. And yes, making meaning from your own story is exponentially harder. The good part is that it's even more satisfying when you achieve it.

Expand full comment

So, Mr Rutenkroger was my mother. Her occasional pep talks (when she dignified to speak to me at all) still ring in my head. Realizing it was her, not me, has been very freeing and given rise to the voice I repressed earlier in life. Others now sometimes comment that they like my writing voice.

Thanks, Lisa!

Expand full comment

I am so sorry to hear that, Mark. What a difficult way to grow up. I'm in awe of the strength you've cultivated and how you've freed yourself of her criticisms. That takes so much work and courage.

Expand full comment

Thanks, Lisa. You have had much to do with any growth I've had.

Expand full comment

Using my voice to say thank you!

Expand full comment

Thank you so much, Sarah!

Expand full comment

Your choir experience sounds eerily similar to the way my band teachers instructed us. Sounds like they need to revamp music education programs or hopefully already have!

Could you please elaborate on what you mean by "your highest self" when you say to speak to them?

Expand full comment

I'm so sorry you experienced something similar. The educational experiences of Gen Xers are filled with so many traumas. I certainly hope programs treat their students with more kindness.

Here's what I mean by the highest self: I believe we all have a wise part inside us that knows what we're supposed to be doing. It often shows up as gut feelings, little thoughts that pop into our heads (typically about risks we should take or the right decision that also feels scary and big), and sensations in our bodies. Most of us had a strong connection to this part of ourselves when we were young, but we were conditioned to ignore it through rules we were forced to follow and statements by adults like quit being so sensitive, stop making a big deal of this, and that's a bad or impractical idea you should ignore. Does that help!?

Expand full comment

Ohhh, yes! That helps a lot. Thanks for the thorough explanation!!!

I'm a Millennial and many educators still needed to learn kindness at that time.

Expand full comment

I'm so glad that helped. :)

Expand full comment

My "voice" emerges when my control mechanisms are "sleeping". In those pre-dawn half-asleep/half-awake mornings between dreams and reality. At those times, chapters write themselves in my head. Beautifully. Sometimes I succeed in transcribing those lines, that voice, onto the page, but more often I fail. If I let it "marinate", it curdles.

It does help if I read aloud the chapter I wrote before I attempt to write the next chapter, to get into the vibe.

Your piece could be extra helpful if it were to include an image showing the locations of solar plexus and chakras you mention. For us neophytes.

Expand full comment

I love the way you describe that beautiful, perfectly formed story that speaks to us early in the morning, when our brains are still in that delta brainwave state. Like you, if I capture it at that time, the work is beautiful. Later on, it curdles (OMG, I love this description!).

Thanks for the feedback regarding the locations of the chakras. I just updated the post with graphics that illustrate them. :)

Expand full comment

I’m trying to get back into having a writing practice after writing a book, but feel stymied. This was very helpful, thank you.

Expand full comment

I'm so glad it was helpful, Debbie! It's HARD to return to a writing practice after writing a book. So many writers struggle with it, yet so few talk about it. I'm cheering you on as you regain your writing mojo. Hugs!

Expand full comment