I lost my brother John to suicide when I was 14, and my sister Barbara to suicide when I was 28. I'm turning 64 in a couple of weeks, and both losses still affect me to this day.
At that time, and especially in my family, suicide was a taboo topic. Nobody knew how to talk about it. I was overwhelmed with guilt and shame on top of all the grief.
Writing and sharing my story has helped me find my way through all of it. I'm grateful for communities like this where we can speak up about our experiences. Nobody should have to suffer alone.
I'm so sorry to hear that you lost John and Barbara to suicide, Veronica. I wish I could tell you your experience is rare, but it's not. Survivors are at heightened lifelong risk, but I think it hits us harder when we are young because we have nothing to look back on that can help us deal with our experiences. I'm 50, and the shame and stigma I faced around having a suicide loss in my family were so intense. I can only imagine how much worse it was for you, given how little mental health issues were talked about when you were growing up. I'm so glad you are writing about your experience and sharing your story. The more we talk about our experiences, the more we counter the same and stigma around them.
I had a similar experience when I attended a bereavement group after I lost my best friend to cancer. Everyone else in the group had lost a spouse, partner, or a family member. The group facilitators, though kind, didn’t quite know how to respond to me. I felt more like an educator than a group participant.
My best friend’s parents put a lot of pressure on me to act like a surviving sibling to their son. I hadn’t realized how much my best friend had been taking care of her brother, or how much she’d been acting like the emotional glue in her family, holding everyone together. Her family’s grief was so overwhelming, there was no room for mine. I had to distance myself so as not to get consumed by their needs.
When my father died, I made sure that his best friend was included and supported along with the rest of the family. I was determined to that no one’s grief would be marginalized on my watch.
Ironically, this was exactly what my best friend would have done if she’d been here.
I hate that you experienced something similar when attending a bereavement group, Linda. I know the facilitators are doing their best, but sometimes they don't know what they don't know. You bring to light another form of loss that's often dismissed--best friend loss. These people play such important roles in our lives. When they're gone, the hole this loss creates is enormous, and even more so because it's so invisible. I love how you turned this tough situation around by including your father's best friend in the grieving rituals. What a gift to him. I hope it brought you comfort as you grieved both losses.
The sibling I lost to suicide: my younger brother, Bradley Jay (always B.J.) Williamson, 1955 - 1986. The sibling I lost to my narcissistic mother's need for everyone to like her best: my older brother Kirk, whom she groomed as her protector and weapon, ensuring that we would never be able to have a relationship, something I grieved deeply as an adult - and still do.
I'm so sorry you lost your brothers, Bradley Jay, and Kirk, in such painful and tragic ways. Suicide loss is such a complicated form of loss to navigate. My heart connects deeply to yours when it comes to that one. But loss through estrangement can be equally painful to bear. I just want to say that I see you and your pain, and I'm so glad you are writing about it.
I lost my sister, Beth, to an accidental overdose in 2018. All I want to do is talk about her — and the lessons I’ve learned about losing her — but the stigma of addiction has led my grieving family into relative silence. For the 7+ years since her death, I’ve often wanted to scream. Somehow, I ended up turning my “silenced” voice into one that quietly guides grievers to speak their deepest truths. Since Beth’s death, I also became a memoir coach and a workshop leader, teaching a course I designed called Expressive Writing for Emotional Healing.
Damn. I just realized that sibling loss is at the heart of ALL of my work.
Thank you for writing your book. I cannot wait to read it. And, I’d love to interview you for my Writers On Writing series on Substack.
Hi Christine, first, let me say how sorry I am about the loss of your sister Beth. The stigma around addiction adds another layer of disenfranchisement and shame around that form of grief (much like suicide). While I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and I know you would rather have Beth here than gone, I'm in awe of the medicine you've made from your heartbreak.
Also, your story contains so many similarities to mine. I don't know if I would be here had Joe not died.
I would be honored to be interviewed for your Substack. I will be away next week. Please send an email to lisa.cooper.ellison@gmail.com after 6/17 so we can set this up.
The book itself is an anthology, and I'm just one of 26 writers in it. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on it. I hope it brings you comfort.
Three people who've lost siblings: Justin Bishop; Lisa Werblin; Amy Kirk-Duvoisin. Justin, my nephew, lost his brother Eric when Eric was only 36. Eric had been diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 18. Lisa Werblin's sister Andrea Werblin died at 56 from ovarian cancer. Lisa lost her father a year before her sister died, and two and a half years later, her mom died. She is now the only member of her family still living. Amy's brother Scott died when Amy was 15 and Scott was 17. Imagine dealing with the typical challenges of adolescence on top of witnessing your parents' debilitating grief. And grieving yourself. We need to support grieving siblings better than we have in the past. They lose so much--basically they lose their parents (whose suffering leaves no room for parenting remaining kids) during a time they most need their support. Tragic, really. I would love to read this anthology on sibling loss.
Thanks for sharing these stories with all of us, Melanie. Sibling loss is always hard, but it's even harder when you're young because as you so rightly said, we don't just lose our siblings. We lose the parents we once had. I was fortunate to be 22 and living on my own when this happened. My stepsister was only 13, which I'm sure made it more confusing and lonely. We definitely need to provide more support to them, because they carry more pain than most people know.
I'm thinking of Justin, LIsa, and Amy right now, as I say their siblings' names: Eric, Andrea, and Scott.
I lost my younger brother, Captain Cesare D'Antonio, an airline pilot who died in a plane crash. The tragedy drove me to write a book titled 26 Seconds: Grief and Blame in the Aftermath of Losing My Brother in a Plane Crash. Part memoir, part expose, my book is a search for the truth about the plane crash that killed my brother but also exposes the strain on the aviation industry. The story is timely given the aviation news of late.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother, Captain Cesare D'Antonio. I'm so glad you've written this book. I hope the process brought you lots of comfort. I'm sure it will help others and I hope it puts some pressure on the aviation industry.
I lost my big brother, Danny, to colon cancer at age 45; I was 41. Astonishing that he'll be gone 20 years this November. I never foresaw the day that I would be alone at his bedside at 2 am in a Skokie, Illinois, hospice. Certainly not when we were wrestling on the living room floor at ages 10 and 6. He'd always manage to trick me into wrestling matches, saying I could have the advantage. He liked to win. But most of all, in his quiet, loyal ways, he won friends. Easily 500 people attended his funeral Mass, where we snuck in a recording of Sandy Denny's "Who Knows Where the Time Goes?"—one of her greatest songs. Sandy died at 30; my brother had always loved her music and many other female artists... He took me to my first Coco Taylor show in a blues bar in Chicago in the late 80s or early 90s. Miss you, always, big brother.
I found this book helpful--T.J. Wray's book, SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A SIBLING: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies. This one metaphor sticks with me over 20 years later. Losing a brother or sister is like a star going dark in our constellation.
Lisa, thank you for bringing this new book to your audience.
Laura, thank you for giving us a chance to honor your brother Danny. I'm so sorry you lost him. And twenty years. That's a big anniversary. I will be thinking of you in November when it arrives. Thank you for sharing TJ Wray's book. It's one of just a handful out there, and it's a great resource for siblings.
Also, "Losing a brother or sister is like a star going dark in our constellation." What a beautiful metaphor.
My son lost his only sibling, my daughter, to suicide when he was eleven years old. I'm certain he heard many of the same things you did, Lisa. "Take care of your mom." Be strong for your Mom." What a terrible burden for a grieving child.
When I lost my sister Rose to breast cancer, I'd been grieving that loss well before her death as she'd essentially removed herself from our family. With her death came the end of any hope for healing the fissure between us. A new kind of grief.
Eileen, I'm thinking of you and your son today. I know how much you both loved your beautiful Lydia. I'm thankful I got to know her through your beautiful memoir, Love in the Archives, though I am so sorry she's gone.
Thank you for sharing the story about your sister Rose. Estrangement compounds and complicates our losses. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to reconcile before her passing.
Thank you for sharing your loss with us, Christine, and for giving us a chance to say Kelli's name alongside you. The early years of grief can be so heart-wrenching, and while the world might tell you 2 years is a long time, those of us in the trenches know your grief is still very young.
My friend Katie lost her brother as did my former coworker Kristin. I never understood why sibling loss isn't given time off work at most organizations. My sister is my best friend. She struggles with suicidal thoughts like me, and I don't know how I'd survive without her. I worry about death a lot, and she at the top of my mind.
I'm so sorry for your friend Katie and your coworker Kristin's losses. Thank you, Marisa, for sharing them with all of us.
When I looked this up, it now seems like sibling loss is covered under bereavement leave at most companies, though I'm not sure that was always the case. Even if it is, you only get 3 days, and that's not long at all.
I lost my older sister five years ago. She was my other mother, who offered me the unconditional love my parents couldn't. What made it harder was that I had the power of attorney and had to make the final decisions. I miss her so much.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Becky. I'm so sorry for your loss. You bring up such an important point about the roles our siblings play. They are so much more to us than just brother and sister. In your case, your sister played a parental role, which I could see amplifying the sense of abandonment you feel.
Also, it's so hard to be the one to make those final decisions. I have no doubt you did right by your sister, but what a heavy burden to bear. I'm sending you so much love and a big hug from her.
I lost my only brother to suicide on Octover 30, 2017. The 2 support groups I went to? I was the only one who'd lost a sibling. We dont get anywhere near the support we deserve. Looking forward to reading this book, Lisa. ❤️
Faye, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. Suicide is one of the most complex forms of grief. I hate that, like me, you are part of the club and that you also felt so alone in the support groups you attended. That's so hard. I hope this book brings you the comfort you deserve.
Thank you for sharing your story about Diana. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm celebrating the 56 rocking years you had together. As I write this, I hear a giggle and I am imagining what fun you must've had together.
This is so important! I just ordered "Always a Sibling" for my daughter as my precious youngest son, Graham at 30 died 4 years ago and I heard this was a great book,. I'd like to read this also, it's so important! My beautiful, and incredibly loved brother, George died 15 years ago and today is his birthday! His love lives on but there isn't a day goes by that I don't miss him. I am only comforted now knowing he is with my son Graham, as I do KNOW that! We modified Three Dog Night's song and we sing "George to the World! All the boys and girls., George to the fishes in the deep blue sea, George to you and me!" (rather than Joy... (-:)
I'm wishing a happy heavenly birthday to George, Michele. While I'm so sorry for your loss of your brother George and your son Graham, I'm glad that they are together. I hope that brings you comfort, especially on the hard days. Also, I LOVE how you modified that song. I'm singing it right now.
Thank you!!!! Yes knowing that George to the world is still happening and that he is with my "Sweet Baby Graham" (also a modified song thanks to JT!) is a comfort. Much gratitude for your work!
It’s coming up on the 10th anniversary of my younger brother’s, Ed Hague, death from metastatic prostate cancer (similar to what Joe Biden has I believe). He was only 58 but had also been a Type 1 diabetic since he was 10, which further complicated his treatment. Ed wrote a wonderful blog called “We Do Not Lose Heart” the last 18 mos or so of his life. His wisdom, dry humor and vulnerability inspired hundreds of people, and brought him so much love, support and connection during some very hard times.
We were only a couple of years apart in age and the oldest of our crazy, abusive family. Ed disappeared into evangelical Christianity as a way to cope when he was a teenager, only to resurface nearly 40 yrs later when he started doing recovery work (which I had been doing for decades at that point). He reconnected with my sisters and me when our mother died in 2008.
Ed was my memory, my friend and my champion in his later life, which made losing him even harder. My younger sisters had a very different experience of him and my father fell apart, so I felt alone in mourning his loss. I love the Edna St Vincent Millay quote - “The presence of your absence is everywhere.” Still get hit by grief bombs to this day …. I miss him so.
Karen, thank you for sharing a little about your brother, Ed. I'm so glad you were able to reunite after your mother's passing. Siblings truly are the repositories of our memories. I'm so glad he was your champion and that you were able to be with him in the final years of his life, though it's clear that it makes the sting of this loss even sharper. The quote you shared, "the presence of your absence is everywhere," says it all. And those grief bombs. Oof! They can hurt so much. I'm thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug as you near the 10-year anniversary. the 5s and the 10s are often big ones.
I lost my brother John to suicide when I was 14, and my sister Barbara to suicide when I was 28. I'm turning 64 in a couple of weeks, and both losses still affect me to this day.
At that time, and especially in my family, suicide was a taboo topic. Nobody knew how to talk about it. I was overwhelmed with guilt and shame on top of all the grief.
Writing and sharing my story has helped me find my way through all of it. I'm grateful for communities like this where we can speak up about our experiences. Nobody should have to suffer alone.
I'm so sorry to hear that you lost John and Barbara to suicide, Veronica. I wish I could tell you your experience is rare, but it's not. Survivors are at heightened lifelong risk, but I think it hits us harder when we are young because we have nothing to look back on that can help us deal with our experiences. I'm 50, and the shame and stigma I faced around having a suicide loss in my family were so intense. I can only imagine how much worse it was for you, given how little mental health issues were talked about when you were growing up. I'm so glad you are writing about your experience and sharing your story. The more we talk about our experiences, the more we counter the same and stigma around them.
I had a similar experience when I attended a bereavement group after I lost my best friend to cancer. Everyone else in the group had lost a spouse, partner, or a family member. The group facilitators, though kind, didn’t quite know how to respond to me. I felt more like an educator than a group participant.
My best friend’s parents put a lot of pressure on me to act like a surviving sibling to their son. I hadn’t realized how much my best friend had been taking care of her brother, or how much she’d been acting like the emotional glue in her family, holding everyone together. Her family’s grief was so overwhelming, there was no room for mine. I had to distance myself so as not to get consumed by their needs.
When my father died, I made sure that his best friend was included and supported along with the rest of the family. I was determined to that no one’s grief would be marginalized on my watch.
Ironically, this was exactly what my best friend would have done if she’d been here.
I hate that you experienced something similar when attending a bereavement group, Linda. I know the facilitators are doing their best, but sometimes they don't know what they don't know. You bring to light another form of loss that's often dismissed--best friend loss. These people play such important roles in our lives. When they're gone, the hole this loss creates is enormous, and even more so because it's so invisible. I love how you turned this tough situation around by including your father's best friend in the grieving rituals. What a gift to him. I hope it brought you comfort as you grieved both losses.
The sibling I lost to suicide: my younger brother, Bradley Jay (always B.J.) Williamson, 1955 - 1986. The sibling I lost to my narcissistic mother's need for everyone to like her best: my older brother Kirk, whom she groomed as her protector and weapon, ensuring that we would never be able to have a relationship, something I grieved deeply as an adult - and still do.
I'm so sorry you lost your brothers, Bradley Jay, and Kirk, in such painful and tragic ways. Suicide loss is such a complicated form of loss to navigate. My heart connects deeply to yours when it comes to that one. But loss through estrangement can be equally painful to bear. I just want to say that I see you and your pain, and I'm so glad you are writing about it.
💖💖💖
I lost my sister, Beth, to an accidental overdose in 2018. All I want to do is talk about her — and the lessons I’ve learned about losing her — but the stigma of addiction has led my grieving family into relative silence. For the 7+ years since her death, I’ve often wanted to scream. Somehow, I ended up turning my “silenced” voice into one that quietly guides grievers to speak their deepest truths. Since Beth’s death, I also became a memoir coach and a workshop leader, teaching a course I designed called Expressive Writing for Emotional Healing.
Damn. I just realized that sibling loss is at the heart of ALL of my work.
Thank you for writing your book. I cannot wait to read it. And, I’d love to interview you for my Writers On Writing series on Substack.
Many thanks,
Christine
https://christinewolf.substack.com
Hi Christine, first, let me say how sorry I am about the loss of your sister Beth. The stigma around addiction adds another layer of disenfranchisement and shame around that form of grief (much like suicide). While I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and I know you would rather have Beth here than gone, I'm in awe of the medicine you've made from your heartbreak.
Also, your story contains so many similarities to mine. I don't know if I would be here had Joe not died.
I would be honored to be interviewed for your Substack. I will be away next week. Please send an email to lisa.cooper.ellison@gmail.com after 6/17 so we can set this up.
The book itself is an anthology, and I'm just one of 26 writers in it. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on it. I hope it brings you comfort.
Thank you so much, Lisa. Have a safe trip. I look forward to connecting when you’re back!
Ryan, age 59. Alcoholism took my little brother from me long before he died.
I'm so sorry you lost your brother Ryan, Jo. Thank you for allowing us to say his name alongside you.
Three people who've lost siblings: Justin Bishop; Lisa Werblin; Amy Kirk-Duvoisin. Justin, my nephew, lost his brother Eric when Eric was only 36. Eric had been diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 18. Lisa Werblin's sister Andrea Werblin died at 56 from ovarian cancer. Lisa lost her father a year before her sister died, and two and a half years later, her mom died. She is now the only member of her family still living. Amy's brother Scott died when Amy was 15 and Scott was 17. Imagine dealing with the typical challenges of adolescence on top of witnessing your parents' debilitating grief. And grieving yourself. We need to support grieving siblings better than we have in the past. They lose so much--basically they lose their parents (whose suffering leaves no room for parenting remaining kids) during a time they most need their support. Tragic, really. I would love to read this anthology on sibling loss.
Thanks for sharing these stories with all of us, Melanie. Sibling loss is always hard, but it's even harder when you're young because as you so rightly said, we don't just lose our siblings. We lose the parents we once had. I was fortunate to be 22 and living on my own when this happened. My stepsister was only 13, which I'm sure made it more confusing and lonely. We definitely need to provide more support to them, because they carry more pain than most people know.
I'm thinking of Justin, LIsa, and Amy right now, as I say their siblings' names: Eric, Andrea, and Scott.
I lost my younger brother, Captain Cesare D'Antonio, an airline pilot who died in a plane crash. The tragedy drove me to write a book titled 26 Seconds: Grief and Blame in the Aftermath of Losing My Brother in a Plane Crash. Part memoir, part expose, my book is a search for the truth about the plane crash that killed my brother but also exposes the strain on the aviation industry. The story is timely given the aviation news of late.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother, Captain Cesare D'Antonio. I'm so glad you've written this book. I hope the process brought you lots of comfort. I'm sure it will help others and I hope it puts some pressure on the aviation industry.
I lost my big brother, Danny, to colon cancer at age 45; I was 41. Astonishing that he'll be gone 20 years this November. I never foresaw the day that I would be alone at his bedside at 2 am in a Skokie, Illinois, hospice. Certainly not when we were wrestling on the living room floor at ages 10 and 6. He'd always manage to trick me into wrestling matches, saying I could have the advantage. He liked to win. But most of all, in his quiet, loyal ways, he won friends. Easily 500 people attended his funeral Mass, where we snuck in a recording of Sandy Denny's "Who Knows Where the Time Goes?"—one of her greatest songs. Sandy died at 30; my brother had always loved her music and many other female artists... He took me to my first Coco Taylor show in a blues bar in Chicago in the late 80s or early 90s. Miss you, always, big brother.
I found this book helpful--T.J. Wray's book, SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A SIBLING: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies. This one metaphor sticks with me over 20 years later. Losing a brother or sister is like a star going dark in our constellation.
Lisa, thank you for bringing this new book to your audience.
Laura, thank you for giving us a chance to honor your brother Danny. I'm so sorry you lost him. And twenty years. That's a big anniversary. I will be thinking of you in November when it arrives. Thank you for sharing TJ Wray's book. It's one of just a handful out there, and it's a great resource for siblings.
Also, "Losing a brother or sister is like a star going dark in our constellation." What a beautiful metaphor.
My son lost his only sibling, my daughter, to suicide when he was eleven years old. I'm certain he heard many of the same things you did, Lisa. "Take care of your mom." Be strong for your Mom." What a terrible burden for a grieving child.
When I lost my sister Rose to breast cancer, I'd been grieving that loss well before her death as she'd essentially removed herself from our family. With her death came the end of any hope for healing the fissure between us. A new kind of grief.
Eileen, I'm thinking of you and your son today. I know how much you both loved your beautiful Lydia. I'm thankful I got to know her through your beautiful memoir, Love in the Archives, though I am so sorry she's gone.
Thank you for sharing the story about your sister Rose. Estrangement compounds and complicates our losses. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to reconcile before her passing.
I'm sending you a big hug on her behalf.
I lost my sister Kelli to complications from cancer two years ago this month.
Thank you for sharing your loss with us, Christine, and for giving us a chance to say Kelli's name alongside you. The early years of grief can be so heart-wrenching, and while the world might tell you 2 years is a long time, those of us in the trenches know your grief is still very young.
My friend Katie lost her brother as did my former coworker Kristin. I never understood why sibling loss isn't given time off work at most organizations. My sister is my best friend. She struggles with suicidal thoughts like me, and I don't know how I'd survive without her. I worry about death a lot, and she at the top of my mind.
I'm so sorry for your friend Katie and your coworker Kristin's losses. Thank you, Marisa, for sharing them with all of us.
When I looked this up, it now seems like sibling loss is covered under bereavement leave at most companies, though I'm not sure that was always the case. Even if it is, you only get 3 days, and that's not long at all.
Hmm, I haven't seen it covered everywhere I've worked.
If it’s not covered, that’s problematic, because it should be.
I lost my older sister five years ago. She was my other mother, who offered me the unconditional love my parents couldn't. What made it harder was that I had the power of attorney and had to make the final decisions. I miss her so much.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Becky. I'm so sorry for your loss. You bring up such an important point about the roles our siblings play. They are so much more to us than just brother and sister. In your case, your sister played a parental role, which I could see amplifying the sense of abandonment you feel.
Also, it's so hard to be the one to make those final decisions. I have no doubt you did right by your sister, but what a heavy burden to bear. I'm sending you so much love and a big hug from her.
I lost my only brother to suicide on Octover 30, 2017. The 2 support groups I went to? I was the only one who'd lost a sibling. We dont get anywhere near the support we deserve. Looking forward to reading this book, Lisa. ❤️
Faye, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. Suicide is one of the most complex forms of grief. I hate that, like me, you are part of the club and that you also felt so alone in the support groups you attended. That's so hard. I hope this book brings you the comfort you deserve.
Diana
I lost my younger sister two years ago after a 7 year battle with Breast cancer. We had 56 rockin’ years together. 🤘🎸
Thank you for sharing your story about Diana. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm celebrating the 56 rocking years you had together. As I write this, I hear a giggle and I am imagining what fun you must've had together.
This is so important! I just ordered "Always a Sibling" for my daughter as my precious youngest son, Graham at 30 died 4 years ago and I heard this was a great book,. I'd like to read this also, it's so important! My beautiful, and incredibly loved brother, George died 15 years ago and today is his birthday! His love lives on but there isn't a day goes by that I don't miss him. I am only comforted now knowing he is with my son Graham, as I do KNOW that! We modified Three Dog Night's song and we sing "George to the World! All the boys and girls., George to the fishes in the deep blue sea, George to you and me!" (rather than Joy... (-:)
I'm wishing a happy heavenly birthday to George, Michele. While I'm so sorry for your loss of your brother George and your son Graham, I'm glad that they are together. I hope that brings you comfort, especially on the hard days. Also, I LOVE how you modified that song. I'm singing it right now.
Thank you!!!! Yes knowing that George to the world is still happening and that he is with my "Sweet Baby Graham" (also a modified song thanks to JT!) is a comfort. Much gratitude for your work!
It’s coming up on the 10th anniversary of my younger brother’s, Ed Hague, death from metastatic prostate cancer (similar to what Joe Biden has I believe). He was only 58 but had also been a Type 1 diabetic since he was 10, which further complicated his treatment. Ed wrote a wonderful blog called “We Do Not Lose Heart” the last 18 mos or so of his life. His wisdom, dry humor and vulnerability inspired hundreds of people, and brought him so much love, support and connection during some very hard times.
We were only a couple of years apart in age and the oldest of our crazy, abusive family. Ed disappeared into evangelical Christianity as a way to cope when he was a teenager, only to resurface nearly 40 yrs later when he started doing recovery work (which I had been doing for decades at that point). He reconnected with my sisters and me when our mother died in 2008.
Ed was my memory, my friend and my champion in his later life, which made losing him even harder. My younger sisters had a very different experience of him and my father fell apart, so I felt alone in mourning his loss. I love the Edna St Vincent Millay quote - “The presence of your absence is everywhere.” Still get hit by grief bombs to this day …. I miss him so.
Karen, thank you for sharing a little about your brother, Ed. I'm so glad you were able to reunite after your mother's passing. Siblings truly are the repositories of our memories. I'm so glad he was your champion and that you were able to be with him in the final years of his life, though it's clear that it makes the sting of this loss even sharper. The quote you shared, "the presence of your absence is everywhere," says it all. And those grief bombs. Oof! They can hurt so much. I'm thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug as you near the 10-year anniversary. the 5s and the 10s are often big ones.
Thank you so much for the question Lisa, and for the chance to answer it. I know that you know. Big virtual hug back to you!