Leaning Into the Light

When life gets tough, use these tools to find calm and write with purpose.

Photo by Marcus Doll Col. Downloaded from Unsplash.

This is not a political post. Yet I can’t ignore the ramifications of today’s election. Tensions are so high. Distractions are everywhere. Yesterday, I received an email with the following subject line: I am Terrified. Phew!

If your inbox and newsfeed are equally fraught, you might wonder what you can do beyond vote, which I hope you do.

In Maria Popova’s newsletter The Marginalian, she recently wrote about E.M. Forster’s take on the personal and political power of empaths—which includes many writers. In his essay collection Two Cheers for Democracy, Forster writes:  

“I distrust Great Men. They produce a desert of uniformity around them and often a pool of blood, too… I believe in aristocracy, though… Not an aristocracy of power based upon rank and influence but an aristocracy of the sensitive, the considerate, and the plucky. Its members are to be found in all nations and classes and all through the ages, and there is a secret understanding between them when they meet. They represent the true human tradition, the one permanent victory of our queer race over cruelty and chaos. Thousands of them perish in obscurity; a few are great names. They are sensitive to others as well as to themselves, they are considerate without being fussy, their pluck is not swankiness but the power to endure, and they can take a joke… Their temple… is the holiness of the Heart’s affections, and their kingdom, though they never possess it, is the wide-open world.”

If you are a sensitive creator, welcome to this aristocracy. Our job is to foster empathy in others. We don’t do this by telling people what to believe or lecturing them on the power of empathy. Our medium is story. We create characters that feel so real, that readers willingly inhabit them. As they see through another person’s eyes, their hearts open, and they learn more about those around them.

But how do we continue this sacred endeavor when fear tries to shut our hearts down?  

My therapist says we lean into the light. It’s the work I’m doing and the work I invite you to do over the coming weeks and months as we weather this transition.

If you're feeling prickly about this term, I get it. Certain sectors of the positive psychology and self-care industries suggest that leaning into the light means thinking happy thoughts while ignoring our very real fears.

But leaning into the light isn’t a binary proposition where you ignore one side in favor of a more pleasant other. No, it’s a courageous both/and proposition, where you honor your fear and nurture the good happening around you, so you can continue to write with an open heart.

What does leaning into the light look like?  

First, attend to your fear. Thank it for helping you stay safe. Your threat management system is magnificent, and in times of immediate, short-term threat, it should be your go-to. But it’s not designed for lengthy periods of tumult. To persevere, you need to calm your nervous system.

Here are three activities you can do to stimulate your vagus nerve, which is the main nerve that calms your body:

• Hum to your favorite song. Better yet, dance as you sing along.

• Turn your head to the left, then look to the upper right-hand corner of the room. Breathe five breaths. Next, turn your head to the right and look to the upper left-hand corner of the room. Breathe five more breaths.

• Get into the shower, point the water toward the base of your neck, then turn the cold on full blast. Stand there for between three seconds and two minutes, depending on your tolerance. This stimulates your vagus nerve and releases dopamine in your brain.

Once you’re centered, sit with your fears. When I’m frightened, I imagine a strong, capable part of me is holding the part of me that’s afraid. As I do this, I hug myself and say, “It’s okay. I’m here for you, and I’ll keep you safe.”

You can also do this exercise:

• Write a letter from the fearful part of yourself to the strong part of you. See what it has to say.

• Write a reply from the strong, centered part of you.

As you hold space for your fear, protect your center by limiting your consumption of news and social media. Also, prioritize rest because living in uncertainty is an unescapable form of unpaid labor.

Remind yourself of the good. Over the past few weeks, I’ve thanked my fear, and then said, “I am safe in this moment. This is what’s good in my life right now.” Afterward, I list what’s going well.

If you’re struggling to locate the good in your life, go outside. Watch the sun rise or set, note the beauty of the falling leaves, and listen to the birds chirping. Go to a public place and converse with those around you. Lift up others by committing random acts of kindness.

As you do this work, bring ease and gentleness to your writing life. That might mean temporarily loosening your grip on certain goals or writing simply to hold space for what’s happening.

If you’re not sure what to write about, here are a few centering prompts to get you started:

• Write about a time when things felt dire but worked out

• Write about a time when you demonstrated physical or emotional strength

• Write about a time when you effectively used your voice

• Write a letter to your little one from your highest self

Your sensitivity is a gift the wide-open world needs. Go to your temple, connect with your heart’s affection, and do the work that allows you to always write on.

Warmly,

Lisa

Before you leave, let me know one thing that’s going well today by sharing it in the comments. Naming it will help you claim it, and your response might open someone’s eyes to the good around them.

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This Week’s Podcast Episode

In honor of Sibling Loss Awareness day, and the kickoff for worldwide bereaved sibling month, I spoke with my soul sisters, Alyson Shelton and Lynn Shattuck about how we’ve written through grief. Together, we unpack the ways grief can shatter our sense of normalcy and how we discovered unexpected ways to rebuild our lives. From navigating the rawness of loss to finding meaning in the aftermath, this conversation offers hope and connection for anyone touched by this profound and often discounted loss.

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Podcast Appearance

I am so honored to be a guest on Estelle Erasmus’s Freelance Writing Direct podcast. We had a great conversation about the challenges and rewards of writing tough stories and the three things you need to consider when writing for a public audience.

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